And The Final Posture in the Series, Spine Twisting.

Today I delivered my last official dialogue in Posture Clinic! Spine Twisting which is the final posture, and so now I'm done. What a strange feeling it is - relief that I got through all 26 postures but also angst about the fact that I now have to put them all together and actually teach a class. Oy!

While I have really enjoyed the posture clinics and getting up and talking in front of people has felt surprisingly comfortable, the notion that I will be responsible for leading people through their practice does make me rather anxious.

I know for myself, how much I do or don't enjoy a class depends a lot on the teacher leading it. Now while I also know that is NOT how I should approach a class, as its up to me to determine what kind of practice I am going to have blah blah blah, I think its only human nature to have people that you connect with and who resonate more with you than others.

So the thought that someone might come and take a class with me and not like me as a teacher is a bit disconcerting. While that is not an easy thought to sit with (and I guess part of my journey as a teacher will be learning to be ok about that....Oy!) , I hope that my absolute love for this yoga comes through and that people see that and even if they don't like me as a person, that I can reach them in some way and inspire them to come back and take another class.

The one thing I have heard consistently in my feedback from other teachers and the trainees in my group is that I have an open and friendly personality and come across as being very compassionate, maybe even a little too nice (Ha! They obviously haven't read my Blog :-) and that people with warm to this and trust me as a teacher. Certainly that has been really nice to hear and so that is something to hold onto.

The toughness is something I will have to work on - so that I can get you yogis to work hard and "kill yourself" in class!

Perhaps though I will surprise you and kill you will kindness..... :-)

Thursday

Lecture .... and .......movie ..........till............................ 4:19 a.m.

SOOOOoo............... T..............I..............R..............E................D

What the hell am I doing here?

Well its Wednesday.......

.... and thats about all I can say about it.

Bikram is back after being away for 4 days and so he taught this afternoon's yoga class. We then had to endure a 4 hour lecture (I use the term loosely) until after 1:30 am from which I have

....... NO notes

....... NO further comment!

Pic above is of Lisa who wrote comment below. Its hard to explain how you can make irrational things seem SO rational in that bloody Hot Room!

Back to Balancing Stick!

This morning's class was taught by Santiego from New Mexico. I had a really strong class and I got a compliment for my Standing Head to Knee Pose! Not easy to stand out amongst 430 other peops so I was thrilled. Mind you, I have to add that both my neighbours were sitting out the posture and I think several yogis around me had fallen out, so I think quite literally I stood out because I was the only one in my area who was standing at all! But hey, I'll still take the compliment :-)

The room didn't feel that hot again and so I made a concerted effort to not drink water throughout the class and I think that is really helping me get back my focus and discipline in other areas too. I felt less inclined to move unnecessarily between the postures and to wipe my sweat (the sin of all sins!)

Now thats not to say that I didn't want to drink but I made sure I was well hydrated before class and so I knew from experience that I could actually survive the 90 mins fine without taking a drink and in all honesty I feel a lot better through the class when I practice that way. The times I do drink in class, all that water rolling around in my stomach actually makes me feel worse and so then you're battling the thirst and nausea. Ugh.

Those peops who are drinking water, Gatorade and Coconut water in class - I just don't know how you do it? Actually in saying that, I just remembered that yesterday the teacher made a comment about how someone had a yoghurt in the room! OMG can you imagine how nice that would taste after being heated up for 90 mins.........

So onto Dialogue Clinic for today - OMG my best to date! Not only did I deliver Pranayama, a sit up and then Rabbit posture, but then the teacher asked everyone (along with the 3 yogis doing the demo) to stand up and I had to deliver Balancing Stick (which I must add I have not even looked out since I had to deliver it over a week ago. Its posture # 7 and Rabbit is #23). No time for me to worry about being perfect, to worry about whether I knew every word of every line etc, I just had to pull it out of the hat and get them into the posture for 10 seconds (yeah right!) and then back out.

And you know what, I did it! Somewhere deep inside my wee yoga brain the dialogue was there and I managed to get it out and have it make sense. It wasn't word perfect, I don't have a clue if it was anywhere near 10 seconds and you know what, it didn't matter. It was such a confidence boost to be able to do it.

Dare I say it, but the (goddamn) "process" works. Well who would've ever guessed.........?

And So Week 7 Begins ...

A short and sweet post tonight as I need to get on and study some dialogue. Tomorrow I have to deliver Sasangasana / Rabbit Posture which is the next in the series but prior to that I have to start off with Pranayama Breathing, and a sit up to get them into position for Rabbit Pose.

Now while I am thrilled to have been asked to do this, as its a testament to where I am at with my dialogue etc, its also the first time I have looked at Pranayama breathing - the understanding to date being that it is something that Bikram goes through with us all once everyone has completed all the other postures.

Its over 4 pages long, so needless to say feeling a little pressured by said request and will be up late tonight learning it. There are a few others in our group who have the same homework so we're going to rally together and study up.

Today has been a pretty cruisey day, and considering its a Monday I've felt pretty good. Shock, horror, I know! Usually it takes me at least till Tues / Wed to settle back into the routine after the weekend. Our class this morning was taught by Darren, who owns a studio in Sydney. Dare I say it, that after having mostly American teachers for the past six weeks it was nice to have a teacher with a familiar accent.

Also the room wasn't so hot so it made it a nice class to ease into Monday morning with. NOTE: Now when I say the room wasn't SO hot, that is in terms of TT standards. So it means the heat of the room still hits you when you walk in, we were still sweating etc etc, it just didn't feel the Australian outback!

So because of this I decided it was time to try and cut back my water drinking habit. I never used to take water into the studio at home when I practiced but since being here and having to do doubles every day I thought that was one habit I would let slide. And while some days I know I haven't been hydrated enough and so felt that drinking was necessary I am aware that it has definitely become a distraction that I use when I'm uncomfortable and don't want to do a posture. Oy! So now I am trying to undo this. And I managed fine today, though it took some doing. When 400 peops around you are having a drink at "party time" it took ALL my will to just stand there and just breathe.

From now on it will be something I continue to concentrate on but I am not putting myself under any pressure to go "waterless" every class. Call me chicken, but there are still too many "doubles" to go yet and still plenty of opportunities for them to turn up the heat!

Yoga Class Espanol

Today's class (Sat morning) was taught by Ulysses from Mexico who taught the first set of each posture in English and then the second set in Spanish. It was awesome!

I only wish I had been feeling better as I had plenty of "sparkly" moments through all the Standing Postures, as in that feeling when you stand up too fast. Ugh..... so needless to say I was very pleased to get to the floor series.

Anyway, regardless I still enjoyed the class as Ulysses was so passionate and enthusiastic and even when he was speaking in Spanish you could tell by his energy when to push in the postures etc.

He spoke about how we need to get to a place in our practice where we learn to trust that our breath is all we need. Not water, not having the exact mix of this and that in our water, having the mat in a specific spot etc etc. That so long as you can breath properly during your practice that you will get to a place where you can let all those other things drop away.

He also spoke about how its easier to do the postures than to sit them out. Hmmm, probably debatable at times eh? But I have to say I do agree with him. Like he said, if you're sitting on the floor you have WAY too much time to think about how uncomfortable you feel, about how hot the room is, how about many more posture to go etc etc. Whereas if you're doing the postures no matter how much you're struggling it at least gives you something else to focus on.

Those days when you're in "the zone" this is easy to do, but its finding a way to get to that place when you're having a tough class that takes mental strength. On those days when you just want to run from the room screaming, when camel posture makes you want to burst in tears and / or throw up, when the yoga bus comes into the room and runs over you and then beeps and f*n backs up to run over you again. UGH UGH UGH and somehow you have to find a way to "just breath". THOSE are the days I feel that amongst all the angst I gain SO much.

Whew..... excuse me while I go outside for some fresh air.... :-)

So, notes from our Posture Clinics this week:

There are 3 things you need to build your practice:
1. To come often
2. To practice hard
3. To acknowledge your mistakes and make the necessary corrections

Don't say, "I can't". Instead say, "how much of this posture CAN I do?". (I like that one, as there are certain postures I am convinced I will never be able to do.)

Lean to switch between commanding and being kind so that you can show compassion for your beginners and yogis with injuries, but still keep pushing those who are your regulars and working hard etc.

You will build a level of trust with your students through the class, and so they will do everything you ask them to (particularly beginners) so you have to give them permission NOT to do something if it hurts etc.

Instead of asking someone why they didn't do a part of the posture, instead say I noticed you can't do X, Y, Z and then let them reply. They will open up better this way and not feel you are accusing them of not doing posture.

Stick to the dialogue so that it becomes a tool that is ingrained in you. Then if something happens in the room, like someone fainting, then the dialogue will automatically come from you (yikes hopefully!)

Watch your regular students and notice week to week if they miss the same posture, sit out the same posture, always grab their water at the same time etc and equally to see when they make improvements, when their injuries heal or happen. This helps you learn something about your students and become aware of how the yoga is changing their bodies.

So in terms of how my progress with the dialogue is coming, I feel I have finally got to a place where I'm a bit more relaxed about not being perfect. Note: A "bit" more. I still have miles to go but have stopped "fighting it" and it has all come so much easier to me and I'm actually enjoying it (this could be said about everything I'm doing at the moment too - God forbid eh! LOL).

I would say that Wednesday was a break through point for me. I had to deliver Full Locust which is the posture where you get to "fly" and I was so pissed off and frustrated with everything, disappointed in the two previous days posture deliveries and so I decided I had to channel that somehow and just friggen get over it! So that is what I did, and I nailed it! By far my best delivery to date, cos I TOLD those yogis to GET INTO the posture and FLY home! What a buzz and a relief to feel like I was finally "getting it" in terms of starting to feel like I was teaching, and also a sense of peace by being able to let go and just be.... :-) Sigh

Then we had Caroline from NY take our clinic Thursday evening. She was in Oz earlier this year and did a class at our studio so it was cool to see her again. And she was just SOOOOO nice to me. She said that she loved my personality and felt people would really warm to me and trust me as a teacher (awwhhhh xx) but that they might not behave in class because I might not be commanding enough. I told her I had finally found my commanding voice last night (lol) and so would try and bring that too so that I had both styles - so look out you naughty yogis!

Friday's clinics both went well too. In the aft class I delivered Fixed Firm and as there were heaps of Ozzies in the other group we were working with, I said to "lift your chest and stomach up to create a perfect Sydney harbour bridge" hee hee (instead of perfect human bridge). A bit naughty because we are NOT supposed to divert from the dialogue at all, but I couldn't resist and it got a laugh from the Ozzie peops.

End of Week 6!

Well its now the end of week 6. I think I can bring myself to start counting down the days now without it making my stomach go in knots. Only 21 to go. By this time in 3 weeks we will be at our Graduation Ceremony!

I wonder how I'm going to feel then? Certainly there are so many beautiful amazing people here that it has been great to meet and so I hope we all stay in touch and that our paths cross again.

This week has been full on. Boss (Bikram) as he is affectionately called, has been away so we've had posture clinics after lunch and in the evenings which means I have been studying like mad to stay ahead of the game.

Certainly once you've been studying for a while and have worked out which learning style works for you I have found that the memorizing gets faster and faster. That and the fact that the Floor Postures are generally shorter (Yay - to learn and Yay when you're in class :-) and a lot of the sequencing are lines of dialogue from previous postures. i.e. Generally when you put your arms over your head, you're going to then put your hands-palms together. Hee hee, theres that new body part :-)

Anyway, Bikram popped in briefly on Thursday night while we were at Posture clinic and told us how good we were doing and that we were on schedule (finally!). And it mean't that next week we would have the evenings free for lectures and movies......... Oh expletive. Can't we learn the dialogue for all 86 postures? Can we go back and do the left side and second set? Anything but friggen movies..... Oh well.

So because we are back on schedule, there were rumours rife about how tonight, (Friday) we would have no posture clinic and they were going to arrange pizzas for everyone for dinner. Where this idea came from I don't know, but everyone was talking about it all during the day and while waiting for the P.M. yoga class to start the room was abuzz with talk about it.

Obviously it didn't happen! Not the night off, and not the pizza :-( Probably someone mentioned they felt like pizza for dinner, and someone walked past them and heard them and then said, yeah I feel like pizza and it went from there. You put 430 peops together. Lock them up in a hotel with little contact with the outside world and we will grasp at any hint of something that looks like it might give us a relief from the regimented yoga bubble we live in.

For tonight's class, they put on music before it started and got all the teachers to come in and dance around the room and on stage etc, so that did provide some light relief. And then Jude (Johnny's sister) taught. Those from the Goldie may have taken her class when she was back there. And true to form it was a toughie, as Jude's classes always are, but she has such great energy it makes you want to work for her. (In the top pic she is in the middle on stage along with 2 other teachers).

Other pics are of fellow yoginis from my group in the hot room - you can start to get an appreciation of the size of the room. It will no doubt seem strange going back to practice in a regular sized studio with only 30 - 40 yogis after having practiced in a ballroom with 430 others.

Last pic is of moi and Danni who I am SO lucky to have as a roommate. Living with a stranger in one room for 9 weeks is a difficult task under any circumstances so the fact we have managed to do it and stay friends is a credit to us both I'd say. So thank you Danni for being so understanding, for giving me a shoulder to cry on when I needed it, for being so patient with me when I was struggling to stay sane in this place, and for being a great friend. I hope you make it Down Under some time so that we can meet up again! xx