Today I delivered my last official dialogue in Posture Clinic! Spine Twisting which is the final posture, and so now I'm done. What a strange feeling it is - relief that I got through all 26 postures but also angst about the fact that I now have to put them all together and actually teach a class. Oy!
While I have really enjoyed the posture clinics and getting up and talking in front of people has felt surprisingly comfortable, the notion that I will be responsible for leading people through their practice does make me rather anxious.
I know for myself, how much I do or don't enjoy a class depends a lot on the teacher leading it. Now while I also know that is NOT how I should approach a class, as its up to me to determine what kind of practice I am going to have blah blah blah, I think its only human nature to have people that you connect with and who resonate more with you than others.
So the thought that someone might come and take a class with me and not like me as a teacher is a bit disconcerting. While that is not an easy thought to sit with (and I guess part of my journey as a teacher will be learning to be ok about that....Oy!) , I hope that my absolute love for this yoga comes through and that people see that and even if they don't like me as a person, that I can reach them in some way and inspire them to come back and take another class.
The one thing I have heard consistently in my feedback from other teachers and the trainees in my group is that I have an open and friendly personality and come across as being very compassionate, maybe even a little too nice (Ha! They obviously haven't read my Blog :-) and that people with warm to this and trust me as a teacher. Certainly that has been really nice to hear and so that is something to hold onto.
The toughness is something I will have to work on - so that I can get you yogis to work hard and "kill yourself" in class!
Perhaps though I will surprise you and kill you will kindness..... :-)